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Take a chance...you never know how perfect something might turn out to be.'. -- Anon.
For all those of us who've loved and lost in the past, these are indeed words of encouragement.
It takes a huge amount of courage to tell someone that you love them, a lot of hard work to keep the relationship going, and a great deal of patience to get over the arguments and fights.
And after all that...when love ends or is taken away from you...how would you name that feeling or emotion that you go through. Oh yes, we all know the initial ones - denial, anger, self-hate, self-pity, hatred.
After then comes the worst part... self-doubt. You are convinced you're not good enough, that you will never find another person ever again, that you'll probably be a cat-lady in a studio apartment somewhere...to paraphrase Bridget Jones.
But jokes apart, falling into the crevice that is self-doubt is like falling into quicksand. You can't breathe, you can't move, you can't see. Everywhere is despair.
And then someone comes along... someone you've either known for some time or a total stranger. And he (forgive me, dear reader, for being gender specific) extends a hand to pull you out of the quagmire that your life has become.
What do you do? How do you react? Does one instinctively know that this is a "sure thing"? Of course not. For one thing, you're not prepared; and the other, remember it's the self-doubt phase. You're not good enough, you feel. You're crushed by memories of the past hurt. You've been scarred by rejection. It's like you're enveloped in a cloud of miasma.
And what about the person who's offering you the second chance? How uphill of a task does he have? Is he willing to be patient while you're trying to bunch up courage? Is he bothered or irritated by your constant need for assurances? Is he wondering whether this was a good idea in the first place?
Because you see, the word that we both need to emphasize here is TRUST. I need to trust - in myself, in fate, in karma, in him. He needs to trust his instincts, his conviction, his determination.
And yet, we know that it's not easy.
My dear friends, do you have a choice? Of course you can choose not to move on with this man or any other one, for that matter.
But let me tell you....we HAVE to take that chance. To quote Paul Auster - "There's hope for everyone. That's what makes the world go round". That's one more trait that differentiates us from animals.
A second chance at love is one of the biggest blessings of life. You are a better person for the past experiences. You're more patient, tolerant, receptive, empathetic. And that in turn opens up a more beautiful, more sound, more meaningful experiences. You could even feel a passion or zest for life that didn't seem possible a few days ago.
Life is rarely what we expect of it. It's unpredictable, it's sorely testing, it's pleasantly surprising, it's horrific, it's beautiful....there's never a dull moment for too long.
So if we know this to be true, should we not meet life (and whatever it throws our way) head-on? Meet it with a smile and a song on your lips, a twinkle in your eyes, and a conviction in your heart that all will be fine.
Because do you know that life is like a wheel of fortune? Those dark nights are followed by bright days, those sad moments are followed by happy ones, for every sad song there are 2 happy ones.
So grab that second chance with both hands, and continue this roller-coaster ride that's life.
