The burden of being India

"India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love my country, and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it. I shall give my parents, teachers and all elders respect and treat everyone with courtesy. To my country and all my people, I pledge my devotion. In their well being and prosperity alone lies my happiness. Jai Hind."
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- The National Pledge of India

When Pydimarri Venkata Subba Rao wrote this in 1962, he had no idea it would eventually be adopted as the National Pledge. In fact, it is said that he realised it had become so only after he heard his granddaughter reciting it.

Such simple words and yet so full of lofty intentions. Simple promises so easy to keep. But when an Indian student recites this in his or her school, do they pause to think about what it is they are saying?... what are they pledging to do?

I don't think so...it is a case of parroting this just the way we all recite the National Anthem, or the National Song.

And since it is so, we have spectacularly failed to instill in our children the values we "pledge" to uphold.  We, none of us, were ever explained the meaning of or reason for reciting the pledge. And what we weren't explained we couldn't pass on to the next generation... and so the dichotomy continues.

Just read the words and you'll begin to realize their improbability. The sheer burden of these simple words are heavier than that of Atlas.

We may say that all Indians are my brothers and sisters but do we ensure safety for our women? The number of rape cases tell us that we do not. Women face harassment and humiliation everyday...be it at home, at the work place, on the streets, on public or private transport. We have to constantly prove our worth, justify our existence, all the while juggling multiple roles, and we are expected to do a fantastic job.

Are we really proud of our rich heritage and culture? Because if we did we would not deface the numerous historical monuments that make India an interesting tourism destination. If "athithi devo bhava" is indeed our philosophy, then why are we so disrespectful of foreign tourists... women and men alike? Why do we misbehave with the very people who respected our country enough to come and see its wonders? Why do we cheat them, make fun of them, lech at the 'gori chori', try to take their money and leave them cursing the day they decided to come and see "Incredible India"?

If we are really brothers and sisters, why so many riots? Why this need for reservations? Why do we court the backward castes only at the time of elections? Why not do away with this wretched caste system that gives the general masses the right to play judge, jury and executioner? Why can we not employ or honour a person solely on their merit? It would at least curb student suicides and associated political dramas.

And do we treat everyone with respect? No, we do not. We have been so unjustly treated by our rulers that we feel justified in taking out our frustrations on all around us. Our elders, our teachers, our peers, even our children and parents. If it were not so, how do we account for the rampant child labour, girls sold into prostitution, growing number of old age home, beggars on the roads, dowry deaths, honour killings...the list is exhaustive and exhausting.

We are divided into so many factions...religious, caste-based, political...that we have become immune to each other. The sole purpose of living seems to being successful at everybody else's expense.

Why go to places of worship then? Why behave like hooligans in the name of these very gods before whom we prostrate? Do we not see the irony in our behaviour? When we show off our material possessions, are we not being bad role models to our children? And by polluting our cities, are we not turning them into patients and shortening their life span?

It is still not too late, you know. We can instill in our children a sense of pride and a sense of ownership. We are born in this great nation of ours...a nation that has never tresspassed onto a neighbour's land...a nation full of wisdom and spirituality...a nation that gives to us in the form of agriculture, industries, verdant forests, the wide rivers that have seen countless generations pass by.

If we are as educated as we take pride in declaring, if we are born in this nation, why do we denounce it on foreign soils? Why do we not champion it's limitless opportunities, its varied heritage, its wisdom, it's ability to embrace foreign cultures and give them the space need to grow and thrive? If Indians denounce their own country then who will speak in its favour?

How can we look at ourselves in the mirror and not feel the shame? How did we bring ourselves down to the level of squabblers, killers, rioters?

Why not give each other a helping hand and feel the pleasure when their faces light up? Why not defend one of another faith and come closer to the God. Almighty who had created us all?

Because only if we do that can we really justify reciting the National Pledge. Otherwise, we might as well do away with it, get rid of the pretense of being a civilised people, and definitely do away with the holier-than-thou ailment we all suffer from.

Jai Hind.

Ode to friendship

"Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends". Eminem

Let me say at the outset that I never thought that I'd ever listen to Eminem.. let alone quote him. But if a friend you trust tells you there's merit in listening to Eminem... well then you listen to him..and quote him.

But here's the thing...I would have agreed with him a couple of years ago. But not anymore.

My friends circle has been very small..I too don't trust easily, and I was doing just fine with the two I had. And then a third friend just happened... when I was least expecting it.

And unlike the other two, this one just came in and threw the way I looked at things off kilter. And I started to look at things differently. I slowly started to look at everything from all kinds of perspectives.

Going through the worst phase of my life, I clung to the three of them like white on rice. And they let me...held my hand, bolstered my sagging spirit, spoke encouraging words, gave me tough love...the last one was the most needed  one...the one that toughened me up. The saying...and I'm paraphrasing here...about true friends telling what you need to hear and not what you want to hear...is so very true.

I was hiding from the world, licking my wounds in private, blindly going through the motions, introspecting a lot, slowly gaining my confidence, like a fledgling with one wing out of the nest.

The need to prove myself... to myself, and my loved ones...made me desperate at times. Countless hours I spent wondering whether I should just quit, forget about it, or gird my loins and take that first flight out of my insecure world. My friends sustained me through it all, and applauded my efforts, gave me suggestions, nudged me when I went off course.

And they gave me my confidence back... and some new friends. New friends who took on my case like determined soldiers, merely on the words of the mutual friends we shared. These new friends championed my cause, working in the background, to make sure I succeeded in my quest.

Suddenly there were cloudless sunny skies, where there had been a gloomy outcast; a hint of hope in the air, where there had been stifling silence. Suddenly things started to look up, and I rode on that wave of hope.

And rediscovered some old friends, who welcomed me back into their warm embrace, with nary a thought of my earlier extended silence. The outpouring of joy from that quarter fuelled my flight even more.

It is heartening to know that it doesn't matter what you've done...or not done...to the people who actually care for you. Yes, the need to prove myself is what is keeping me going, but it is also the assurance that there is this wonderful cheerleader squad on my side.

God does work in mysterious ways...an altogether too often used statement.. a cliché I had taken for granted...till now. I do not take anything for granted anymore.

A supportive family is the safety net around us, and this net is made stronger by friends....the net is made stronger by friends...and I'm saying this twice to drive home the point.

And blood may be thicker than water, but its water that quenches parched throats. And there is no ego where friends are involved. You are simply you, you are not the result of your education, job, automobile, mobile...to your friends you are the goof who makes them laugh, the one who gives good advice but refuses to take his own, the one who gets tricked into sponsoring a beer and pizza party.

So when with a friend...leave your ego outside the door. Listen, watch and speak...to what they say, why/how they say it, and more importantly what is being said.

And never ever think you can impress your friends with your salary or your job. I know I cant, I got here because of them, and I owe them my unflinching loyalty and friendship.