"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then". --- Katherine Hepburn
What prompted the wry Ms. Hepburn to come up with this bit of wisdom? Her lifelong love affair with Spencer Tracy is the stuff of everyday trivia. It is difficult to imagine their relationship not being an equal one, a successful one, a fulfilling one.
And so there are many countless stories of men and women meeting, hitting it off and living happily ever after. But are these just "stories"....urban myths?
Is it possible to have that perfect man or woman in one's life? Of course, all perfection is relative, and should be taken in its perspective. So if you have a guy or gal who is intelligent, great fun, attractive, kind, should you consider that you have got 'it'? What about the nuances of a person's character...the things that do not surface till the 'honeymoon' period is over? What if you discover that the 'perfect' man tells small white lies ("but i didn't mean anything by it"), or that you have to give a minute-by-minute account of your day to him ("its only because i want to know you're OK"). What if the man of your dreams is a control freak ....one who tells you what to wear, what to eat, drink, read, watch on TV, even dominates in your private moments?
Then there are the women who claim to fall for a man who is the life of the party, who charmed them with his wit, his intelligence, his ability to make friends easily. Once the relationship begins, its bye-bye to these very qualities that first attracted them. Then he's just an insensitive lout for ignoring you and chatting up any woman at a party. What happened here?
We all claim to need our space, and also boast that we are ready to give that space to the other person in the relationship. But do we really do that?
Our basic insecurities cling to us, no matter how hard we try to let go of them, and these make us behave in ways that make us unrecognizable to ourselves.
Any relationship is fragile, and it costs a lot of effort to sustain it. If the relationship is worth it, at the end of the day (and we all have our reasons to stay in one), we have to let bygones be bygones, take the high road or just simply tell ourselves that this is worth saving and take a deep breath.
The honest truth is we need someone special in our lives...someone who can hold our hand and give it a gentle squeeze, someone on whose shoulders you can rest your weary head, someone who'll hold you no matter what.
If we find that someone, then we should hold on to them, and not take them for granted. Its easier said than done, I know, but in our hearts we know it to be true.
